This essay seeks to establish the underlying dynamic in D H Lawrence's writing, the way his characters relate to each other and the way he as an author relates to his readers. Again and again, relationships appear to be based on conflict, where conflict is presented not as a necessary prerequisite of victory, but of self-knowledge. It is through violent confrontation with others that self-realization and self-knowledge are achieved. Curiously, the worst fate in his books befalls those who destroy their antagonists, for then they find themselves deprived of the conflict that made sense of their lives. The essay then seeks to demonstrate that Lawrence encouraged the same dynamic not only among his circle of friends, but likewise with regard to the critics and his readers in general.